I recalled many years ago when I used to work in a fast food outlet, I had several occasions where foreigners, making the huge portion of my customers, praising me for the food I served them. At the point of time, I didn’t know how to react. I seriously do not know how to react because I grew up in an environment where people do not praise you for things you do not know that you are good at.
When that fat bastard…I mean…the foreign guy leaves the outlet and he said, “The cappuccino was delicious”, at the moment I was surprised and very speechless. I never knew that I can make cappuccino that people would appreciate. If he hadn’t praise me for it I would never know because the management forbids service staff to drink cappuccino. All I get to drink is Lemon Tea or tap water.
Serving foreign customers made me realized that they are so different from Singaporeans. They do not keep praises to themselves; they give praises out to people generously. Unlike Singaporeans, we are mostly negative in our remarks. I have no idea why, but it is as though our society preprogrammed us to hold back our praises, compliments or appreciation and to only give negative remarks, thinking that it is constructive in a way. Though this social practice has a good intend at heart, it may be discouraging and disappointing for the receiving end.
How many times had you tried showing achievements to your friends hoping to feel elevated with praises and all you get is a dull face and a comment like, “mm…where have I seen this before?”
DISAPPOINTMENT. That is all you get at the end of the day.
Next time when you want to say something like…
“Not bad, BUT you can try a little twist here and there next time.”
You could make your comment more positive like…
“Wow I like this. You are getting so much better at it. I think if you were to add a little here, it will be PERFECT”.
Doesn’t that sound a whole lot more encouraging? By not keeping praises to yourself, pointing out what the person is doing good, suggest how he/she can do better and not using the word ‘but’. That is a negative word. ‘But’ means “Hold on, don’t get too happy about it yet”.
Ask yourself, wouldn’t YOU wish to be praised by your friends? If yes, you have to start from yourself. Give your friends a pat on their back when possible. Sing praises when you have the chance to and I’m sure good deeds will come around.
